Stuck on a Dare
by Cynlee
Summary: 8 year olds Raph and Mike set out to prove or disprove an ageold legend. A Splinter and Cynlee collaboration fiction.
1. Chapter 1

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Okay-- they said it couldn't be done (or was that SHOULDN'T be done?)-- but Splinter and Cynlee have done another chibi collaboration fiction! This time it's being posted in my spot until we can figure out how to do this differently. TMNT do not belong to either of us, and that is just as well, as there'd prolly be a fight over Leo...

**Stuck on a Dare**

For once, Michelangelo and Raphael were the ones up later watching television. It was rare that the two eight year old were minus their brothers unless Father had taken them for a training exercise. That was not the case this night. Donatello and Leonardo had been sent to bed early as part of their punishment for "experimenting." Don had this idea that he could make a candle that would burn longer as a Christmas present for their sensei. Leo had excitedly jumped on the idea, but the two of them nearly burned down the lair that afternoon.

So Mike and Raph, the good sons, were up a whole THIRTY MINUTES past their bedtime to finish watching "A Christmas Story." The two of them giggled at the little boy who wanted nothing more than a gun for Christmas.

"Wonder if Santa would bring us a rifle," Raph mused. "I mean, if I ever wanted Santa to come here again."

His younger brother hid a smile. He knew Raph got just as excited as he did at Christmas. Especially now that Santa had been making regular stops with toys every year.

"Sensei probably wouldn't let him. He wants us to use ninja stuff." He shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth.

"Yeh. Maybe he could bring us some BLADES this year." Raph's eyes shown with excitement at the prospect of weapons. REAL weapons and not the practice ones they'd been using.

The two fell into an easy silence for awhile watching the show and howled with laughter when the boy got his tongue stuck to the pole.

"That couldn't happen," Mike pointed out. "I've put my tongue on ice cubes before and it didn't stick. And I bet ice is colder than a dumb old pole."

Raph shrugged. Real or not, it was funny as hell. "That kid didn't think it would work. Had to have the fire department get him unstuck. Prob'ly had to cut part of his tongue off."

Mike made a face. "No they didn't. Or they'd a taken him home or something. Besides, it ain't real. Father says stuff on TV ain't real."

"He said SOME stuff ain't real," Raph argued. "Some stuff is."

The younger turtle giggled. "You mean like Peter Pan? You still got the scar from trying to fly." Twice actually, but Mike didn't point that one out. It didn't matter that he restrained himself. Raph picked up a pillow and slammed Mike in the face with it.

That may have started an all out pillow fight, if Splinter hadn't poked his head in from the kitchen. "Do you boys need more popcorn?"

"No, Father," they chorused and Raph hit Mike once more with the pillow before setting it back on the couch.

Raph waited until Splinter went back into the kitchen. "So," he said, folding his arms. The Peter Pan comment riled him. "Go stick your tongue to the sewer wall or something."

"Eeeeew! NO WAY!"

"Cuz you know it'll stick," Raph grinned. He was sure he had Mike now.

"No, cuz it's got gunk on it." Mike gagged at the mere thought of putting his tongue anywhere near the sewer wall. "But I'd stick my tongue to a pole."

Raph had no chance to comment-- Splinter joined his sons at that point, and the three of them watched the rest of the film, and the controversy regarding tongue vs pole was forgotten. They all laughed some more as the movie played out to its happy conclusion ("Boy, I wish WE could have Chinese food for Christmas Dinner!" Mikey had hopefully voiced, leaning into Splinter with the vague hint that this would be a good idea), and then it was time to go brush teeth and join their disgraced siblings in the bedroom.

In the bathroom, the subject of the forgotten pole then came up.

"So, you'd stick your tongue on a pole, eh?" Raph said, and Mikey, mouth full of too much toothpaste, nodded vigorously.

" 'Course I would, 'cause I know nothin' will happen. And 'sides, there ain't no poles around anyway except above ground, where the humans could see us."

Raph shook his head.

"You're just lucky that I don't believe ya," he said, wiping his freshly rinsed mouth on the towel and leaning up against the bathroom door. "Otherwise..."

Mikey, in the midst of seeing how many times he could rinse and spit in one minute, looked at Raph curiously.

"Otherwise what?"

Raph's face was a study in innocence.

"Oh, nothin'... only there **is** a pole over in that alleyway off of Bleaker and Third... but yeah, we wouldn't want to be seen by humans!"

Mikey finished his rinsing ritual, and dried off.

"Oh, yeah! That pole!" Mike seemed excited for a moment, and then reality set in. "That's pretty far from here, and I don't think Splinter's gonna let us go topside that far away."

Raph knew that, but still, he felt he held the upper hand.

"Doesn't matter, 'cuz you know it'd stick, and then you'd be stuck all the way far from home."

Mikey snorted water out of his nose.

"Like we ain't never gone far from home before!" he laughed, thinking of a close call he and Raph had had recently. Raph, panicked look on his face, hastily shushed his little brother.

"Jeeze, ya want Splinter ta find out?" he hissed, eyes darting to the door in case their father was lurking just outside. "He don't know about that!"

Mikey finished cleaning up, still laughing.

"C'mon, lets go to bed! We can go there tomorrow," he cheerfully said, tossing the towel like a basketball at the basket Splinter wanted them to put the things to be washed in-- and missing. "And then you'll see that NOTHING in the movies is real!"

Next morning was as usual. Chores, lessons, training-- and then they were free for the afternoon. Splinter planned on scavenging the sewers (he said, but they suspected that he was really going Christmas "shopping"), and Leonardo and Donatello, still grounded, were admonished to stay in the lair.

Michelangelo and Raphael had received permission to play just outside the door.

"But remember, keep alert to any sewer workers, and do not stray past the boundaries!" Splinter reminded them, as the two stood outside the door to bid him farewell.

"We will," they chorused, fingers crossed behind their shells.

They waited at least a half hour, to make sure that Splinter had actually gone and wasn't lurking there to catch them.

"Okay," Raph, the official timekeeper due to the fact that Splinter had given him something called a "Grandfather's watch" for his birthday, said. "Let's get dressed!"

Inside, Don was trying to repair a remote-control car when he noticed his two brothers suiting up.

"What are you doing?

"It's cold out there," Raph easily replied, pulling on his outside boots."

"Then stay inside."

Mikey shook his head.

"Nope! Me and Raph gotta settle a bet, and we can only do it outside."

Don thought about this as he watched his brothers finish getting their gear on.

"LEO!" he suddenly bellowed, startling the other two. "LEO! COME IN HERE!"

"What the hell's your problem?" Raph asked, edging toward the door as calmly as he could, while Leo the all-knowing tattletale big brother came into the room from the kitchen.

"What?" he asked, then looked at how the other two were dressed. "You can't go back out!"

"Sez you. Splinter sez we can."

Leo took in how they were geared for snow.

"You guys are goin' topside. Again! Don't you remember what happened last time?"

"And besides, you guys promised us on your words of honor that if we didn't tell Splinter, you would never never ever ever again in your entire lives go back to that park!" Don fiercely reminded them. Standing next to Leo, he looked as if he was prepared to physically prevent his brothers from leaving.

"We're not going there!" Mikey said in all truthfulness. "We're just goin' back outside! It's cold, we wanna play, and YOU guys are grounded and just pissed that you can't go outside the door, too!"

"Language, Mikey!"

**Pfffft** came the raspberry reply from the youngest. "C'mon, Raph, let's get outta here, away from the babies."

"I'm warnin' you both--"

"Leo! For the last time, we're NOT going to that PARK!" Raph shouted, and then the two of them were out the door-- and down the tunnels before Leo could follow to see which direction they went.

Don looked at his older brother, who had opened the door as quickly as possible but failed to see which direction they headed in. He looked back and Don and shook his head. Don shrugged.

"Well, we can't follow them 'cause we're grounded," he said, going back to his repair job.

"Right. It's their funeral," Leo agreed, returning to the kitchen.

"Hey! Are we gonna tattle on them?" Don called after a few minutes. There was silence for a moment or two.

"Well, if Master Splinter gets home before they do, there really won't be any need, will there?"

Meanwhile, the two (for the moment) free turtles were laughing at their clean getaway.

"And we'd better not go to that one alley," Raph was saying, as he looked at his special watch. "We gotta be home before Splinter-- and I'm gonna need time ta pull you off the pole once you're froze to it!"

Mikey's laugh was louder than was wise, but they were young and invincible.

"I ain't gonna stick! Movies aren't real!"

"Yeah, well remember that when you're stuck to the pole like that kid, cryin' yer eyes out and beggin' me not ta leave ya," Raph playfully punched him on his shoulder.

They continued on in this fashion until they came to a ladder that they knew led to a large alley with plenty of cover. After a struggle to get the lid off, they carefully scrambled out, keeping to the shadows as they'd been taught.


	2. Chapter 2

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TMNT DO NOT BELONG TO SPLINTER OR CYNLEE! We weep nightly over this sad but true fact.

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The two boys shivered, but not just from the cold. Their near miss at the park a few months ago gave them reason to tremble with fear as well. Those humans had tried to grab them. They had gotten hold of Mike. The only thing that saved them was that the two men were nearly fallen down drunk; well that and a well placed kick by Raph.

Mike hadn't slept well for a week afterwards. He always ended up in either Leo's or Raph's bed. That was how Leo found out about his little brothers' venture into the human world alone. He had cornered Raph in the dojo while Father was gone. In all his eight years of life, Raphael had never seen Leo so angry.

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"You could have got Mike captured! Or Killed! Or worse!" Leo had yelled. He pushed Raph hard and his brother fell to the dojo floor. For once, he was instigating the fight.

Raph glared up at his older brother. "You act like it was all my idea. Mike had somethin' to do with it, ya know."

"Mikey's just a kid, Raphael. You **know **that. You promised me you'd help look out for him. You're not s'posed to take him dangerous places!"

Raph jumped to his feet still glaring. If Leo wanted a fight… "It wasn't dangerous! I knew what I was doin' the whole time!" A lie. But he wasn't going to admit that he had been just as terrified as Mike, especially not to Leo.

"I should tell, Splinter," Leo threatened his fists clenched.

Raphael hesitated. Tell Splinter? Uh, oh. He frowned with a confidence he didn't feel. "Fine. Tell Splinter. You'll just get Mikey in trouble too."

Now it was Leo's turn to hesitate. He didn't care if Raph got in trouble. As far as he was concerned, it was all Raph's fault anyway. But he didn't want Mike to get punished. With all the nightmares he'd been having, he didn't need anything else.

"I won't tell," Leo said finally. "IF you promise never to go there again. You've got to give me your word."

And Raphael had promised. Then Leonardo had made Mike promise. Well, they hadn't lied. They weren't going to the park. However, the cold and darkness caused Mike to remember the near mishap.

"I don't know, Raph," he whispered. "That pole is kinda far from here. And…I mean…"

Raphael glanced at his brother. He was nervous too. He wasn't scared, just nervous. "Yeh well…I..." His face brightened. "We have to get back before Splinter anyway, right?"

Mike grinned. "Right. We can do this another time."

He started to head back to the sewer but Raph caught his arm. "Uh uh, Mikey. You can't go back now." He looked around the small alley and smiled. "The dumpster."

Mike blinked. "Huh? I ain't stickin my tongue to some smelly old dumpster!"

Raph's eyes widened, looking around frantically. He covered Mike's mouth. "Quiet." He pulled Mike back against the wall. They stood in silence for a few minutes just to make sure no one heard the younger turtle's yell.

When Raph was sure they were safe, he whispered, "C'mon Mike. I dare ya." He smirked. Mike was never one to let a dare go. It was, after all, a matter of honor.

Mike frowned. "I am not putting my tongue on a dumpster."

"That's cuz you know it'll stick," Raph chuckled.

"No. Because it's a dirty old thing that has germs on it." Mike folded his arms and pouted. He'd stick his tongue to a pole, but a turtle had to draw the line somewhere.

"I'll give you my ice cream at dessert to take the taste away. I double dare you."

A thin layer of sweat broke out on Mike's forehead despite the cold. If he didn't accept the dare, Raph would never let him live it down. Even still, it was a dumpster. One time when he was out with sensei, they saw a human go to the bathroom on one! Mike gagged at the thought. "No. It might make me sick."

His brother laughed at him. "That's gotta be the most wussy excuse I ever heard for not taking a dare. I triple DOG dare you."

Mike's eyes narrowed. "You can't do that," he protested. Any eight-year old with a television knew the right order of daring.

"Fine." Raph started for the manhole. "I knew you'd chicken out. Let's go home." He turned, but Mike wasn't with him. He gasped quietly searching for him and then smiled. His little brother was standing in front of the dumpster.

"You gonna do it?" Raph asked coming up beside him.

"I got to," Mike said. "My honor is at stake." He licked his lips and swallowed hard. His tongue poked out of his mouth and he leaned forward trying not to think of what might be on the dumpster. His only consolation was that it had snowed and rained recently. Maybe it got washed off. He felt the cold metal touch his tongue, and he could hear the triumphant music in his mind.

He smiled. "I di' it." He tried to pull back and his eyes immediately filled with tears. "Noooooo!"

"Oh, shit, it really did work!"

Raph immediately covered his mouth with both hands, looking around to see if anyone had noticed his outburst! Then he was standing next to Mikey, patting him as the frantic turtle tried unsuccessfully to get his tongue off the dumpster.

"Waff-- Waff-- I can'th ge' ofth!" Mike was panicking. Tears ran down his face, and a steady whine was building somewhere in his little chest, building and growing and threatening to burst forth as a full-fledged scream of fear.

He kept jerking himself, but at the same time, it hurt! In his desperation, he managed to stick more of his tongue to the nasty dumpster-- was that frozen pee he was seeing out of the corner of his eye? Oh MAN! This WAS someone's bathroom after all! The powerful stench of urine, combined with the noticeable smell of rotting garbage and that unmistakable scent of something dead, now assailed his nostrils, and caused even more tears to flow even as he felt himself gagging.

The whine was increasing in volume.

"Mikey, calm down, calm down!" Raph kept hissing, alternately patting his brother and scanning the entrance to the dark alley. In the gloom he could see the busy street. Many people were passing by, mostly concerned with their own business. Cars and trucks added to the noise. It was doubtful that anyone would have heard them, but then one never knew! "Hold on-- lemme help ya!"

He grabbed Mike's shell through the coat, his mittens hindering his grip at first, but soon he had a good hold on him. Then, he pulled.

"AaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Shut up! We don't wanna be heard!" Raph's yell was louder than Mike's scream. Heart racing with fear, he peered up towards the alley entrance again-- OH, MAN! Someone had stopped for a moment, and was staring into the dark!

Both turtles, despite the situation, froze (no pun intended), trying to blend in with the shadows. The person seemed to shake his or her head, then moved on with the rest of the crowd.

"Waff! I can' ge' ofth, and now it'th worth!" Mike sobbed. His entire body was shaking now. The cold was intensifying, and a few flakes of snow were beginning to sift down from the cloud-covered night sky.

Snow? Awwwww, man! Now his overactive imagination was filled with the image of his snow-coated skeleton hanging by its tongue being photographed by news crews and tourists.

Raph was close to tears himself. Why had he dared his brother? Frankly, he, too, had thought it wouldn't work-- after all, nothing on TV was real, Peter Pan had shown him that! But NO! He had just HAD to take the opposite side of Mikey's view!

"I'll be doin' flips for weeks when Splinter finds out," Raph muttered, continuously yanking and yanking on his ever resisting little brother.

"You'rw sthwetching outh my tongue!" Mike whispered as fiercely as he could, shrugging his shoulders out of his "helpful" brother's grasp. Then the whine was back. "Wha' awe we gonna do?"

Raph frantically looked around for anything.

"Mebbe if we pour water over it!" he said, searching the trash for any old left over soda or liquid or anything that he could find-- nothing! What little liquid he could locate was yellow and frozen.

"Aw, man, aw MAN!" Raph was beginning to panic. He needed help, and he needed it now!

Then he started digging through the rubbish as fast and as quietly as he could.

"Waff! Wha' are 'ou doin'?" Mike whispered desperately, winking in pain. The cold was freezing his tongue and where it touched the side of the dumpster it burned like fire!

"I'm gonna hafta go home for help!" Raph hurriedly explained, balanced precariously on his plastron as he leaned into the dumpster, his feet waving in counterbalance to keep him from falling in. "Ah HA!"

With a successful struggle, he yanked out a huge cardboard box and some soiled newspapers. Immediately he set to work, putting the box next to Mike.

"Grab the top of the dumpster, and get inside the box!" he ordered.

Mikey, stunned, did as he was told, but it was hard, and his poor tongue sent sharp pains into him as a reminder that it was firmly stuck and could not be freed. Raph wrapped his arms around his struggling brother, lifted-- "damn, you're heavy!"-- and then Mike was standing in the box, tongue still stuck.

Raph didn't even wait for Mike to get settled. He began to cover him with the newspapers-- with poor results. They kept falling off.

"Mike, ya gotta help me!"

"Bu' why do I godda be covewed in twath?"

"Because I gotta go home for help, and you gotta HIDE!"

Mike processed this.

"You gonna leave me? Nooooo! I don' wanna be lef'!"

"Shhhh!" Raph once more glanced around. No one had heard, but now Raph noticed all the windows that faced down on this particular spot. Many had lights on now. Raph pointed them out. "Please, Mike! Ya gotta get covered! It's so's no one can see ya! And 'sides, it'll help keep ya warm! I **gotta** go get help!"

Raph's pleas got through to the frightened turtle. With a shuddering sob, Mike did his best to cover himself with the papers while Raph searched for more garbage.

Soon there was an oddly moving pile of trash huddled next to the dumpster. Raph surveyed his handiwork with a critical eye. Perhaps some more...

A siren startled him, and a passing police car reminded him that this was an emergency.

"You'we gonna bwing Spwinteh, huh?" Mike's quavering voice, tiny and frightened, emerged from the pile of trash.

Raph drew a deep breath, let it out.

"Yes. I **gotta**."

Sniffle-sniffle.

" 'kay," he cried. "Bye, Waff... I love 'ou."

Raph's throat suddenly choked as he tried to respond.

"Awwwww, don't be mushy! I'll be back soon! Here!" and diving into his pocket, he pulled the precious timepiece that Splinter had given to him, and thrust it into the midst of the garbage. He felt Mikey's hand take it. Suddenly he smiled, remembering the movie they'd seen. The man was going to fix a flat tire and had looked at his watch.

"Four minutes," Raph said with a false note of cheeriness in his voice. "Time me!"

And he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

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Splinter said this would be a quick and easy round-robin challenge. I owe her one... TMNT do not belong to us blah blah blah... you know the routine.

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"World History. What group destroyed the city of Carthage, ending By..Byz…Byzantine rule of North Africa in 698 AD?" Leonardo set the Trivial Pursuit card down and watched his brother, waiting for the answer. They weren't allowed to watch television and Don had promised him a game of chess, if Leo first played this game. A game that Donatello always won.

Donatello considered carefully. He had, at his leisure, gone through almost every one of those cards and committed the answers to memory. But now, his edict memory was failing him. "It's either the Romans…or…hmm…"

Leo looked almost hopeful. "You mean, you don't know?" He set the card back in the box and was ready to mark this day on his calendar.

"Give me a minute," Don said. "The British? Not in 698. Um…maybe the Franks? Or the Arabs?"

Raphael took that moment to burst through the lair door and run into the middle of the board. "Where's… Splinter?" He demanded. His chest heaved from the exertion of running the entire way home.

Leo was instantly on his feet taking note of the fact that someone was missing. "Where's Mike? What happened to Mike?" His voice rose with fear and worry.

"You guys went back to the park didn't you?" Donatello asked getting to his feet. He had heard the story from Leo and now he too was fearful of what had happened to his little brother.

"NO!" Raph yelled. "We didn't and I don't got time for this. Where's Splinter?"

Leo was taken aback by the panic in Raphael's voice and his heart hammered against his plastron. Something had happened to Mike. "He's…not home yet, Raph. Where's Mikey?"

"He ain't captured if that's what you're thinkin." Raph paced trying to figure out what to do. "And he ain't hurt. He's….stuck." Raphael ran to the kitchen.

Leo and Don looked at each other. "Stuck?" they echoed and ran after Raph.

Their brother had dragged a small stool over to the sink and turned on the hot water. He had taken off his mittens and set them on the counter allowing the water to run over his hand. "I need to get some hot water. It might melt it." He was speaking more to himself than to his brothers.

"Melt what, Raph?" Leo was starting to get really agitated. If Mike wasn't hurt than where the heck was he? What was he stuck in? "What's goin' on?"

Raph ignored his brothers and grabbed a cup from the cupboard. He filled it with the hot water. "Shouldn't burn his tongue…it's not that hot."

"His tongue?" Don wondered scratching his head.

"His tongue?" Leo repeated. He frowned and tried to sound stern like Splinter. "Hamato Raphael! Where is Michelangelo?"

"Shut up Leo!" Raph shouted back. "I ain't gotta tell you nothing!"

"Then perhaps, Raphael, you will tell me."

The three boys turned quickly. Raph was so startled the cup slipped from his hands (good thing it was plastic) and he fell off the stool.

Unhurt, he scrambled to his feet quickly and faced his father. "Sensei. I…"

Splinter's dark eyes narrowed with worry and anger. "Where is Michelangelo?"

Raph's breath caught in his throat. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't. Mike was out there all by himself, waiting on help.

"He's in the alley. The one across the street from the grocery store you go to." He heard his brothers gasp in surprise and he could feel Leo's cold hard stare. But that was nothing compared to the look he was getting from his Father. Jeez. That wasn't even the really bad part. He swallowed hard. "I dared him to stick his tongue to a dumpster."

"That's stupid," Don said. "In this cold, he'd stick…oh. Right."

"Michelangelo is stuck to a…" Splinter shook his head and went to the sink quickly refilling the cup with warm water. He reached for Raph's hand. "Take me. Now. Hurry."

Leo and Don followed Splinter to the doorway. "Can we go, Sensei?" Leo asked. He knew they were grounded, but this had to be more important.

"No," Splinter said pausing. "Get some blankets and towels ready. We will not be long." He nudged Raphael out the door and hurried down the tunnels.

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Meanwhile, in the gloom of the now lightly snowing evening, and though it wasn't really late, a very happy drunk was walking with his friends from an office Christmas party to another Christmas party.

And, they just happened to be passing...

"Man... hol' up guys," he said solemnly, halting the procession. "I can't take 'nuther step until I empty the ol' bladder."

"We're almost to my place," one of them pointed out to him. "It's only another block."

"Nope, gotta go," the drunk insisted, and began singing "_gotta-go, gotta-go, gotta-go right now!_"

"Dude, the fine for pissin' in public--" another of his friends tried to remind him, but young Mr. "Gotta-go right now" waved him silent with a commanding-- and very unsteady-- hand.

"No! Fine be damned! I'll be right out."

And he made his unsteady way up the alley into the dark.

"Why are we lettin' him do this?" one of the others asked.

" 'Cause the last time he thought that there was a talkin' elephant, remember?" the first one grinned. "That was a freakin' hysterical conversation he was havin'!"

A general round of laughter chased the drunken reveler up the alley. He knew what they were on about, but who cared? That elephant had been real-- and it had given him some very good stock tips! Good ol' Mr. Jumbo! Piss on his friends! He was risking this trip up the alley so he **wouldn't** piss on them! And **this** was the thanks he gets for being so thoughtful... ah, a nice dumpster... why's there a pile of trash next to it? It doesn't look too full... who cares?

The man staggered a few steps further, unzipped, and let go.

His shaky condition caused him to scatter a bit, but what the heck? Too bad there wasn't enough snow on the ground yet, he could write his name... man, he had drank enough to write his full name in cursive and prolly his address to boot... see?

And then, as the amber stream of impromptu calligraphy began to touch the cardboard box of oddly piled trash, a startled cry erupted from the garbage, and the man went tumbling backwards in surprise!

"Pleathe! Don' pee on me!"

"Wh-- who said that?"

"Me! Pleathe! Don' pee on me!"

A voice traveled up the alley.

"C'mon, Jake! What's takin' so long? You run into another talkin' elephant?"

Roars of laughter followed the comment.

"Jus' a minute! I'm talkin' to the trash!"

More laughter.

"Jake" slowly edged towards the now shaking garbage in the cardboard box.

"Who's in there? Is that you, Mr. Jumbo?"

"No! Sthay back! 'ou do no' thee anyone in the twath!" Mike tried to sound like Obi-Wan Kenobi, but it came out more like Daffy Duck.

Now, despite his drunken condition, Jake got a better look through the pile of garbage.

"Oh! Dude!" he breathed. Then he straightened up. "You were pink last time, and a lot bigger. I guess you're not Mr. Jumbo, but one of his kids!" He shuffled a bit of garbage out of the way and tried to focus his inebriated eyes on the creature.

"Awww... Poor lil green elephant-- you're trunk is stuck to the dumpster? Lemme pull you loose! It's the least I can do for Mr. Jumbo's kid!"

Mikey squirmed further away from the proffered help.

"No! I'm thine! My thather ith comin'! Weally!"

Jake lowered his unsteady arms, swaying on his feet. He could see the lil' fellow was scared, and he didn't want to scare him anymore than he was already scared.

"Oh, Okay--- yeah, I imagine Mr. Jumbo will be by in no time! Sure you don't want me to pull you off? It'll hurt, but it's better than being stuck! I was stuck when I was a kid-- 'course it was my tongue instead of my trunk. My brother dared me to do it. I was sure it wouldn't work. They had to call the fire department to get me off."

Mikey blinked away tears at this story. He would have laughed if his tongue wasn't stuck. At least the guy thought he was an elephant, not a turtle!

But he wasn't offering to leave!

"Jake!" shouted an impatient friend. "Did you die? What the hell's taking so long?"

"Jeeze, you're not taking a dump in there, are you?" bellowed another. "Or worse-- fallen asleep? AGAIN?"

Raucous laughter filled the alley, causing Mike to shrink down further. He was beginning to panic! What if they came into the alley? THEY don't sound as drunk as this guy!

Quickly he held out his mittened hands.

"Hewe! Take this! Dus' don' let them thee me!"

Jake focused on the object in the little hands-- it was a grandfather's watch-- a really really FINE grandfather's watch. He carefully took it and examined it as closely as his condition allowed. Holy cats! He was no antiquarian horologist, but this was definitely an antique-- definitely more than a hundred years old, rather beat up but it was for sure 18K gold-- some crack addict would sell it for twenty bucks, prolly, and never realize the true value. This thing was precious! Definitely a family heirloom... wouldn't take a lot of work to fix up, it still was working... beautiful detail... scratches and dents were easily repaired...

Then he just as carefully placed it back into Mikey's hands.

"Naw! I can't take the watch! That's somethin' special! Don't worry, lil' Jumbo! I won't let them see you! They couldn't, anyway. They got no **vision**."

"Jake!" a chorus of voices threatened to attract anyone on the street or in the apartments above.

"Well, I gotta go now. You sure you'll be all right?"

Mikey desperately nodded, clutching the watch that Raph had given him.

"Okay, then. Give my best to your father. Bye-bye... Merry Christmas..."

"Mewwe Cwismas to 'ou too!" Mike managed, and he watched with relief as Jake strolled back up the alley, singing "Jingle Bells".

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Raph was half running and half being dragged by his Father. He wondered how Splinter could run so fast without spilling the water. Must be a ninja thing. His small legs ran faster to keep up with him.

"Sensei, I'm… sorry," he said. Apologizing was not something that came easily to him. And even when he usually said it, he didn't mean it. He meant it this time. He was sorry. He should've been looking after Mike like Leonardo said.

He took it as a bad sign when his father didn't answer. Even if Mike managed to get through this whole thing with his tongue unhurt, Raph didn't have any confidence for the lower halves of their body. He steeled himself, though. Mike was waiting. He knew he'd gone over the four-minute mark. They had to hurry.

They got to the ladder that would lead to the alley and Splinter went up first. He ascended the ladder more quickly than Raph had ever seen. The manhole cover was off just as fast, and Splinter didn't even wait for Raph to get all the way to the top before pulling him to the streets.

Splinter looked around and was about to ask where Michelangelo was when a faint whimper caught his attention. He turned to a pile of trash sitting beside the dumpster.

"I tried to hide him," Raph explained somewhat sheepishly.

Splinter hurried over to the trembling garbage heap. "Michelangelo," he whispered softly. "It is all right now."

Mittened hands reached out of the trash grabbing for his rescuer. Splinter smiled slightly removing the newspapers and other assorted items from his son. He knelt down putting one arm around Mike's shoulders. "It is all right now," he repeated soothingly.

"See, Mike," Raph said. "I told you we'd be back."

Mike's only answer was to whimper. The cold air had given him a terrible sore throat and his mouth ached terribly.

How his sons managed to get themselves in these situations was beyond him. All they had to do was obey their father. Did they not understand this? Splinter brought the cup up closer to Mike's tongue. With a few drops, and gentle pull, he was free.

Mike sobbed in relief and threw himself into his father's arms. "I'mth sowwy."


	4. Chapter 4

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Yay!! Finally! We the authors (Splinter and Cynlee) present the long-anticipated final chapter of "Stuck on a Dare"! Alert the media! Pop the champs. corks! Bring in the dancing men... um, I mean, we hope you enjoy this short and final installment.

TMNT do NOT belong to either of us-- yet...

Sitting in the dojo, one wrapped in blankets and nursing a sore tongue ("Couldn't I have some ice cream, just for medicinal purposes?" he had dared to ask once they were home, earning the respect of his brother and the stern glare of his father), the two turtles waited parental justice.

"You think we're gonna get spanked?" Mikey, snuggling the blanket around his still chilled body, asked Raph, who snorted in response.

"Well, he sure ain't gonna hug and kiss us for goin' out of the sewers," he said, laughing at his brother. Then he sighed. "I deserve it, anyway."

Michelangelo stared in wide-eyed surprise.

"Deserve it? You deserve to be spanked?"

Many times Mikey had used those words with his older brother. "You deserve to be spanked! I hope Splinter spanks the green off your butt! I hope you can't sit down for a week!" invariably followed by pleading on his knees with Splinter to "PLEASE don't kill Raph!"

"You don't deserve it," Mikey now said. "I deserve to be spanked. I took a dare."

"Yeah, I do deserve it. I'm older 'n you, and I shoulda been lookin' out for you, not darin' you to stick your tongue to a dumpster."

"No, I'm the one who said I'd do it, and I didn't argue with you 'bout goin'. You didn't force me, and 'sides, I can look out for myself!"

"Nope-- I deserve it!"

"NO! I deserve it!"

"I do"

"ME!"

"ME, SHELL-FOR-BRAINS!"

"ME, STUPID DUMMY HEAD!"

The only thing that kept it from becoming a fight was sudden singing from the doorway.

"Raph and Mikey, with the tails of steel/soon a spanking is all they'll feel..."

Mike and Raph looked, startled, at the doorway, where their brothers were grinning-- and singing--

"HEY! That's the song I made for Raph!" Mike protested angrily. "You can't use it! That's plaguerhythm!"

The two nearly fell down laughing at that.

" 'Plagiarism', Mike," Don could barely say. "Unless you're tongue's still messed up from licking the dumpster. And 'sides, it's not plagiarism; it's 'copy write infringement'."

And the two brothers continued to laugh at the scowling others.

"Ahem!"

As if by magic, Leo and Don vanished-- ninja skills kicking in automatically in an act of self-preservation. Standing where they once stood was Splinter, with a chair from the kitchen. With a final shake of the head, he entered the dojo, paid respect, and then seated himself in the chair, facing the two very much in trouble turtles.

"What am I to do with you?" he asked.

They exchanged looks.

"How about some love and understanding?" Mike inadvertently said, and Raph cringed inwardly.

Splinter's tail began to swish at the tip, as the young turtle gasped at his own audacity, suddenly covering his wide-opened mouth with his hands and staring, shocked and horrified, at his father.

"Sorry, Sensei," Mike, recovering, immediately said, bowing.

"You two are not grown-up, yet you are not the same children you were three years ago," Splinter said. "When you were five, this sort of thing might have been treated with a bit more 'understanding'. But you are eight. You have seen more of this world, you are more aware of the dangers that face us, and you certainly know right from wrong!"

"Hai, Sensei, it's my fault," Raph immediately said, bowing. "I shoulda been lookin' out--"

"You are both at fault," Splinter cut him off, at the same time giving Michelangelo a warning look that the turtle knew meant "keep quiet". "You are both cognisant of your wrongdoing. There is no one person at fault. And to imitate, once again, something that you have seen on the television! I would have thought after that 'Peter Pan' incident that you had all learned your lesson!"

"But this worked!" Mike protested, unable to stay silent any longer. "You said nothing on the tv is real, but this was real!"

A sort of disappointed shock crossed Mikey's face as it occurred to him that Splinter had been wrong.

"You said nothing is real on tv, but it was-- you-- you didn't know?"

__

Oh, boy. We're dead. Why can't he learn ta keep his mouth shut?

Splinter stared at this one, and was not sure whether to laugh or start the spankings.

"No television for one month," he said instead. "No going out of the lair for one month. No scavenging with me for one month."

"But you need our help!" Raph protested.

"Yes, I need your help," Splinter replied. "But I shall have to do without it. That will be my punishment for believing that I could trust you."

OUCH! That hurt worse than any spanking! Raph and Mike (and Leo and Don) knew just how much Splinter depended on them to help scavenge enough food to keep them all fed. As they had gotten old enough to help, their food situation had improved. There were fewer times of having to carefully watch every crumb; fewer times when father, with an "I am not hungry, my sons, eat up" made sure that what little food there was had gone to them.

Raph in particular recalled the first time this had registered on him-- the first time when he realized that Splinter was not eating because there wasn't enough for them all-- and it was all he could do to keep from crying right then and there.

"Couldn't ya just spank me extra hard, and still let me help ya get the food?" he choked out sadly. "Or maybe spank me every day for a week?"

"Yeah, spank him-- I mean," Mike hastily corrected. "Spank US more and let us still help you!"

"After all, it's winter! You need us! Really!" Raph came as close to pleading as he ever did.

Splinter let them go on like this for another minute, then held up a quieting hand.

"We will revisit it later," he said. "Now. I also expect each of you to write a one thousand word essay on the dangers of imitating activities viewed on television, due in three days."

Both turtles responded with "Hai, Sensei."

"Very well. Now, come here."

Gulping even as they stiffened their resolve, the two turtles stepped up for their punishments.

So imagine their surprise when the rat, instead of bending each over his knee for the expected spanking, placed an arm around each and pulled them into a hug.

Both boys emitted a squeak of surprise at the embrace and returned it warily. Was Sensei setting them up? Or was this the "I'm going to hug you before I really lay into you" hug?

"Uh, Sensei?" Mike spoke up from where his face was buried in his father's chest. "Should we, like...um..well, ya know?" He motioned to Splinter's lap biting on his lip nervously. It seemed kinda cruel to the young turtle to make him have to ASK for a spanking and Raph glared at Mike for even bringing it up.

But the rat chuckled quietly and kissed the tops of their heads. "No," he answered. "There will be no spankings this time. I reserve the right, however, to double the punishment should you do something so foolish again."

He chuckled again at the relieved sighs of the two boys before they enthusiastically hugged their father.

Splinter kissed them again. "However, I think two certain turtles need some time to think about their actions, in the corner. For the next thirty minutes."

The boys groaned and Mike even considered arguing for a brief moment, but he reconsidered quickly. He and Raph both yelped as the stinging swat to their tails nudged them into their respective corners. Splinter got to his feet with the chair and left his sons to their meditation.

EPILOGUE:

Michelangelo pulled the collar up on his coat a little and watched his breath cloud around him in the ice-cold air. He clapped his hands together and bounced from one foot to the other as he walked through the streets.

His companion, April O'Neil seemed slightly better off than he was. She was dressed warmly as well for it was very cold in New York this time of year, but she didn't seem to freezing as he was.

"Darn mammals," Mike gruffed.

April chuckled quietly. "Mike, I told you that I could make it home on my own. I am a grown woman, you know."

Mike smiled up at her. "Yeh, I know. But it was the least I could do after you sitting through seven hours of Friends with me. Everyone else vanished after two."

"Well, I can't take all the credit for that," April admitted. They turned down the street where her apartment was located. "Raphael dared me to do it." She had to giggle at Mike's expression. "Not that I wouldn't have anyway."

Mike scowled and rubbed his mittened hands together. "Never take a dare from Raph. Did I tell you about the time he dared me to stick my tongue to a dumpster?"

April blinked in surprise and turned to him. "No, why would he do that?" She had to feel bad for Splinter sometimes. She'd heard enough stories to know that the rat had gone through a lot when his sons were young. "That's an urban legend isn't it? That doesn't really work."

Mike laughed. "Oh yes it does! I am living proof. Here…look." He grabbed her hand and dragged her into the alley they were just passing by. "It was like this dumpster here."

April glanced around nervously. "Uh, Mike. Shouldn't we be going?"

"No, wait. Look. It really does work. All you have to do…" He demonstrated as he spoke. "You just stick your tongue out and touch it to metal and…" He pulled back or at least tried to. "Eh…A'el?"


End file.
